Homesteading: The Secret to Eternal Happiness

Have I Got News For You...

Five years after graduating college I bought this farm. I was 27, had a good job, decent-credit, and rural property was cheap. Before I turned 30 I quit that job to become a full-time homesteader/writer. I did it for reasons I didn’t fully understand at the time, but what I did know was making that change was imperative, borderline compulsive.

I had to be a farmer. It felt like if I didn’t try the regret would kill me faster than failure. Despite warnings from every single person who cared about me, I ran away to the mountains and never looked back.

My dream isn’t unique. I’ve heard from hundreds of you over the years that share it and dozens who’ve done it. Success varies as much as the definition. If your idea of success is finance-based, I’ll tell you straight up not to get into small-scale agriculture. If your goals are healing or relationship-based, you’re going to end up in a one-bedroom apartment in five years or less. Girl, come on…

Homesteading isn’t a substitute for salary, therapy or divorce and it sure as hell isn’t the solution to anything fast. But for some of you, it might be the solution to everything in the long run.

The Dark Truth

There are people reading this right now that feel like strangers in the lives they are living. They did everything they were told to do and it left them feeling empty, depressed, and directionless. They self-medicate with consumption, affairs, and addiction. And yet it all comes back to the dread of Sunday night, knowing they’ll return to the grind that’s slowly killing them they’re supposed to be grateful for.

That’s the dark truth about homesteading as a road towards contentment; it doesn’t work. If a big garden, chickens, and wool sheep is the furniture you think you need to fix your life, you will be incredibly disappointed.

You can find happiness eventually, but not because you have fresh eggs in the fridge or sheep in your yard. Nothing you grow or raise will fill the empty places inside you, but perhaps committing to them in ways that test every part of you, will.

The decision to live this unconventional life has me in a state of constant hardship, physical pain, and financial instability since I signed the deed 15 yeas ago. I have not traveled. I am north of 40, single, and childless. I do not have any regrets.

I have never been happier in my life than I am right now.

Here’s the secret. Happiness isn’t something you get from money or relationships or even healing trauma. It’s from truly enjoying the life you presently have, despite any of those things.

Happiness is Cultivated

That’s the anecdotal truth I have to share about this lifestyle. Buying a farm isn’t an escape or a prison sentence, it’s just change. It’s a HUGE change if you don’t come from a farming family or have any agricultural experience, like I did. But changing your address and weekend activities doesn’t grant you enlightenment, it just ruins nice clothes.

What saved me from a meaningless existence wasn’t Cold Antler, it was the cultivated fortitude to stick with it for 15 years despite every good reason to quit.

I was taught success and happiness came from having enough money to feel safe, a loving partner, and a family. Don’t get me wrong those things are dandy as hell, but look around at the people in your life with 401ks, wedding rings, and PTA meetings. Are they happy?

For too many, money is as crucial as permission. I am certain dozens of you reading this right now have the capital to quit your job, rent a farm, and start over. Some of you desperately want to do exactly that. What is stopping you is other people. For some of you that is beyond your control, but for many it’s the quiet tragedy of caring too much about what others think or fear of change.

Take it from this exhausted and happy woman: money and approval will never hold hands with joy. Neither will dramatic lifestyle swings or dairy goats. But what homesteading for 20+ years has given me was high-octane self worth based on respecting and loving the person I became. And that didn’t come from the food I grew or animals I raised. It came from the white-knuckled character building to keep going.

Love is Endgame

This farm is proof positive your can grit your teeth clawing uphill for love and get it, but it’s not because I chose homesteading. It’s because giving up on what actually brought me joy was never an option. I’d rather suffer here than thrive in my old life. This applies to any of you and the secret dream you’re too afraid or tired to strive for.

But what is the point of even being alive if your life isn’t the whole point?

Living a life I love is endgame. If I can do that while also serving my community and helping others, all the better. My one human life isn’t about making my parents proud or buying a Lexus. It’s about love. All I care about in life is love, and I didn’t come here to make friends.

Doing what you’re told doesn’t make you happy.
Doing what you’re worth, does.