folks! Your comments and feedback are so nice, thank you! I was not going to publish this because I worried it made me look horrible for being so ashamed/judgemental of myself and others before in my life, or just a bummer reading about taking so long to feel okay with myself. It means so much that some of you read it, liked it, and took the time to tell me.
I live alone in the woods. I don't have any feedback to my work but you guys. When I put something out vulnerable and you take a minute or two to not only say something kind, but say the time put in and words are valuable to you, it mean so much. You just can't know.
I’m so glad you posted it. I have been through this same self-reflection recently. Stepping out of my own zone to recognize I do hold some judgements when I don’t mean to. I love the wrap up of not having to paint a wall. Beautiful writing.
Have been thinking about this post since I read it first thing.
First off, I love how your home looks. Super cosy and interesting and reminds me of my grandparents old farmhouse where I loved to visit and stay.
Second, if you can bare your inner thoughts like this, you’re strong enough to bare your face. Hey, getting that crap off your face and letting it breathe and feel the sun may do your skin some good. Leave the paint where it belongs, on the walls.
I’m 58 and have worn makeup exactly once - left that event early so I could scrub it off and get back to being me. Never again.
Anyway that’s just my thoughts - thanks for the post.
Beautiful! The space and the meditation on it. My sister put makeup on me for my wedding day decades ago and that is the only day I have worn it. Perhaps that should have told me something about what marriage would do to me. Nevertheless, we all find way to hide when necessary.
Raw, unflinching, veracious and beautiful writing. Thank you for your courage in posting it. We all can see ourselves somewhere in this. Painting as freedom or as prison. Stripping the paint away is liberating, too.
It really does take years to shed all the cultural things we were taught or absorbed. I have had many dumpy apartments which I decorated to be cozy with thrifting and paint. On a deeper level i had strict rules about clothing, looking a certain way and never being “slovenly” from childhood. I rarely wear makeup at home but I find sometimes going out I enjoy putting it all on and there are remnants of that person. Its all part of who we are. Enjoyed this reflection. The things you wrote about in your home are the things that drew me to this space, falconry, fly fishing, living independently, farming.
Powerful writing, thanks for sharing. I wanted to reach out and hug young you. As a child, the adults in my life thought I would be a good model. The funny thing is, I am an outdoor gal, have been my whole life. I can't be bothered to wear makeup and am so grateful for the time I never spent on it. I have 3 grown children, and have given up wearing underwear or shaving anything except my head on the same schedule as I groom the dog, so quarterly... I used to obsess about what others thought of my weirdness, but now I just find being me so freeing!! I guess I am getting old enough to not give a damn about what other people think and that is the gift of age. Hugs to adult you as well...
this was so beautifully put and well versed. The anticipation I felt reading it and the perspective was so intriguing. I’m only in my early 20s but am learning so much from other women and the clockwork of it all - growing old and what we bring from our younger years, the good alongside the bad. I love this take and I too hope you find love in decorating parts of yourself because you praise the beauty of who you are on the inside and out instead of feeding the voice that says you’re any less.
Do whatever you want with your face and your walls. The raw, real, soul-pocked you is the writer who challenges us to be brave and whole, no matter the ways life has cracked and scarred us.
What an incredibly real look into your innermost world. Thank you so much for the vulnerability - it’s humbling.
I’ve been reading your books and content for 15+ years and I had no idea you felt like this. I hope you can let go of the idea that you need make up, going without is so freeing and you’re a total fox! Keeping shining 🤗💚
folks! Your comments and feedback are so nice, thank you! I was not going to publish this because I worried it made me look horrible for being so ashamed/judgemental of myself and others before in my life, or just a bummer reading about taking so long to feel okay with myself. It means so much that some of you read it, liked it, and took the time to tell me.
I live alone in the woods. I don't have any feedback to my work but you guys. When I put something out vulnerable and you take a minute or two to not only say something kind, but say the time put in and words are valuable to you, it mean so much. You just can't know.
Thank you for being there for me.
Oh, this is so beautiful. Thank you for writing it.
I’m so glad you posted it. I have been through this same self-reflection recently. Stepping out of my own zone to recognize I do hold some judgements when I don’t mean to. I love the wrap up of not having to paint a wall. Beautiful writing.
I really enjoy your writing. More than most. Keep shining through your words.
What powerful expressive writing, challenging us all.
Have been thinking about this post since I read it first thing.
First off, I love how your home looks. Super cosy and interesting and reminds me of my grandparents old farmhouse where I loved to visit and stay.
Second, if you can bare your inner thoughts like this, you’re strong enough to bare your face. Hey, getting that crap off your face and letting it breathe and feel the sun may do your skin some good. Leave the paint where it belongs, on the walls.
I’m 58 and have worn makeup exactly once - left that event early so I could scrub it off and get back to being me. Never again.
Anyway that’s just my thoughts - thanks for the post.
I am glad you are the way you are.
I am not attracted to people who are cookie cutter f'ing "normal!"
There is wayyyy too much energy being spent on not being real!
Show me trees on the wall!
Beautiful! The space and the meditation on it. My sister put makeup on me for my wedding day decades ago and that is the only day I have worn it. Perhaps that should have told me something about what marriage would do to me. Nevertheless, we all find way to hide when necessary.
Raw, unflinching, veracious and beautiful writing. Thank you for your courage in posting it. We all can see ourselves somewhere in this. Painting as freedom or as prison. Stripping the paint away is liberating, too.
I HOPE she paints her trees, in her own style, in her own time. An expression of what gives her joy!
It really does take years to shed all the cultural things we were taught or absorbed. I have had many dumpy apartments which I decorated to be cozy with thrifting and paint. On a deeper level i had strict rules about clothing, looking a certain way and never being “slovenly” from childhood. I rarely wear makeup at home but I find sometimes going out I enjoy putting it all on and there are remnants of that person. Its all part of who we are. Enjoyed this reflection. The things you wrote about in your home are the things that drew me to this space, falconry, fly fishing, living independently, farming.
Powerful writing, thanks for sharing. I wanted to reach out and hug young you. As a child, the adults in my life thought I would be a good model. The funny thing is, I am an outdoor gal, have been my whole life. I can't be bothered to wear makeup and am so grateful for the time I never spent on it. I have 3 grown children, and have given up wearing underwear or shaving anything except my head on the same schedule as I groom the dog, so quarterly... I used to obsess about what others thought of my weirdness, but now I just find being me so freeing!! I guess I am getting old enough to not give a damn about what other people think and that is the gift of age. Hugs to adult you as well...
Damn, you are a fine writer. Henry David Thoreau would appreciate it.
this was so beautifully put and well versed. The anticipation I felt reading it and the perspective was so intriguing. I’m only in my early 20s but am learning so much from other women and the clockwork of it all - growing old and what we bring from our younger years, the good alongside the bad. I love this take and I too hope you find love in decorating parts of yourself because you praise the beauty of who you are on the inside and out instead of feeding the voice that says you’re any less.
Do whatever you want with your face and your walls. The raw, real, soul-pocked you is the writer who challenges us to be brave and whole, no matter the ways life has cracked and scarred us.
What an incredibly real look into your innermost world. Thank you so much for the vulnerability - it’s humbling.
I’ve been reading your books and content for 15+ years and I had no idea you felt like this. I hope you can let go of the idea that you need make up, going without is so freeing and you’re a total fox! Keeping shining 🤗💚