River Diaries: July 30th, 2023

Savor the Moments of Bliss if You're Lucky Enough to Taste Them At All

Happy New Year from Cold Antler Farm! I thought I’d kick off the year’s essays with a happy memory from 2023. This post was written the day after it happened, part of my River Diaries project from this past summer. I wanted to document both my return to fly fishing and dating after the worst heartbreak of my life. I wrote this series as a woman hoping to find redemption through vulnerability, romantic risk, and time spent in nature.

And also trout.

This is a postcard of one perfect afternoon. It doesn’t have a happy ending (she ended things a few weeks later), but this haze of a day was one of the best in my entire life. I am glad I wrote it all down, and I wish her nothing but love and joy in the coming year. I hope she finds her person. I hope I do, too.

Sometimes people you care for deeply aren’t meant for you. But the memories, the feelings, that is entirely your business, your internal world. It’s okay to want some memories to last, to write them down. Or at least I hope so, because as a memoirist, and this is the best therapy I’ve got now that I quit drinking.